one two three fourrrrnication!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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