Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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