I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
