My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
And then he peed in my hair
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