I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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