we were pretty classy up until the second keg
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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