Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need to align my fucking chakras
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
