I am spending my child support on dildos
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dick very happy bro
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
