i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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