Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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