so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
