ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
