i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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