Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
