I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
