just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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