I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Randomize
