His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she peed on how many people?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
