At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
