I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize