So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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