you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
