i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize