Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Vodka?
Forever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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