just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
