i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
