My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
