Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I could fuck to npr.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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