My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
