ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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