If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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