I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
