the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
