That's intense
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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