just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
