Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
