Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
