i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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