Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
