Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
