do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
should my penis look like a turkey
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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