At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
