marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
