It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
