I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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