if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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