hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
