i just google imaged poop.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
