if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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