4 words: hood of his car
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
