He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
try to milk me bitch
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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