Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
