Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
