this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
