I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
