in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
