he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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