i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
