Can Purell be used as lube?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He did a backflip because drugs
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