Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
