THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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