I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
